After Mai and I talked about Porn and Consciousness on SLC Radio a couple
weeks ago, she suggested I write a bit about porn from a man’s (or at least this man’s)
perspective, to try to help everyone get at least a little more of a handle on this wild,
controversial, exciting, emotionally triggering, and often confusing subject. So here
goes…. ; )

Consider:

1. I’m sitting in front of a blank word document, supposedly working on a blog for my
boss. 2. I’m feeling very sad that my former lover really, really, really isn’t into me
anymore. 3. I’m anxiously staring at an inbox full of emails that need responding to. 4.
I’ve finished responding to all of my emails and feel like celebrating.

And what, you might ask, do all these different situations have in common? All of them
have preceded a sudden desire to look at porn and masturbate, a desire which I’ve
usually acted on. Can you relate?

All situations can and will lead to my desire to look at porn and masturbate…

Porn confusion can happen, for men as much as women. For years now I’ve been aware
that I use porn for far more than just getting off when I’m horny. I use it to distract
myself, calm myself, procrastinate, feel shameful, feel powerful, and much more.
I’ve watched porn when I only have five minutes to run out the door and I know that
masturbating will make me late. I’ve watched porn to build a devotional relationship
with the sensual power of women. The mystery porn is deep indeed.

Why we look at porn, how much we look at porn, when we look at porn, and how it
affects us, our partners, our other relationships, and our ideas about sex are often
murky or unknown. But exploring these questions, and even exploring them when you
get the initial urge to masturbate and while you’re masturbating (an exploration I’ve
been doing for the last couple years now), and then talking about your findings with
others, can really start to build a very helpful library of self-knowledge.

These issues don’t have to be as confusing or painful for us as they are now. And in
my experience porn has only gotten more satisfying as I’ve become more conscious of
all the layers underneath how and why I use it. It’s a journey, and one that we have to
do together, because each of our relationships to porn and masturbation are certainly
unique.

So, if this is interesting to you, I’d love to hear about your experiences of why and how
you look at porn (or don’t look at porn) below. It’ll help stimulate all of us to look a little
closer.

Zach Schlosser is a spiritual mentor. Last summer he led a ten-week
discussion group on Porn and Integrity for Men at the famous Center for
Sex and Culture in San Francisco. You can contact him through his site
adeeplife.com

We (SLC community) will be hosting a Google+ Hangout on Porn & Confusion/Consciousness at the end of April 2013, just in time to celebrate May is for Masturbation Month.  Join us on Google+ Hangout!

The post Porn Confusion-A Man’s Perspective appeared first on Sex Lies and Consciousness.

Sounds like the fortune cookie game where you add the words “in bed” at the end of the fortune, doesn’t it?

But really, have you ever thought…How does my personality type show up in bed and in relationship?

What if I don’t like a certain thing (in bed) because that’s just how I were built?

Did you know that 6.4 Billion people on the planet, can be explained by 9 types of personalities?

Join me and my friend Elizabeth Carrington-House, to explore a new territory—the implications of the personality and what ramifications that may have  in the bedroom.

Elizabeth is a seasoned coach and an expert in explaining human behaviors via the wisdom of the Enneagram. If you don’t know about that system, you are in for a treat.

Are you in pain with your relationship and needing some help? Would you like a complimentary Relationship Remedy Discovery session with me, Mai Vu, relationship and sex coach? A special treat for my listeners only BOOK YOUR SESSION HERE

Listen to the Radio Show HERE

The post Your Personality Type…in Bed appeared first on Sex Lies and Consciousness.

What if there is a sex diet that will enhance your sex life?

Women:

Do you want more lubrication, less painful sex and menstruation?

Do you want to loose (or gain) weight, have better skin, look younger, have a glow, and more stable moods?

Men:

Do you want more erections and stamina, faster recovery for multiples, and more semen?

What if this sex diet will help you develop deeper connection and intimacy with your partner too?

Paul Hess, Founder of Primal Rejuvenation.com, joins me in this eye opening conversation about what we eat can help us with our sex drive and intimacy.

To listen to SLC Radio: Sex Diet Episode, Click Here

Are you dating again? Would you like to find out what it takes to be successful this time around?

Enjoy a complimentary Dating Discovery session with me.  Email me directly at amaizing@sexliesandconsciousness.com

The post Sex Diet appeared first on Sex Lies and Consciousness.

Want to reawaken your boring or dead marriage?

 I will be talking with Nikki, an adult entertainer, sometime sex coach, sometime mistress… She will be sharing tips and tricks on how to keep your relationship alive and hot.

Everybody needs a mistress.

What does a mistress know that a wife or girlfriend doesn’t? And why is that knowledge so important to have?

How can a wife or girlfrend create more mystery and illusion to bewitch her man?

How does a mistress take care of her own sexual needs?

Whooooey, it’s going to be so much fun.

As usual you can follow me on FB at Sex LIes and Consciousness Fan Page  email me at amaizing@sexliesandconsciousness.com

You can find Nikki at Nikkis Lessons and NikkiLundberg Woohoo, there is a chalkful of information here for you to delight in.

Want to get in on the fun? Consider donating: time, topic, comments, shares, or money to support the show.  We appreciate your love & support.

Listen to the Show HERE.

The post Everybody Needs a Mistress appeared first on Sex Lies and Consciousness.

I just can’t get enough…

After our conversation from the previous show “I Want More Sex” with the men, I now have Pat Barone and Julie Ward to join me and talk about this hunger from the female perspective.  Also Christ St. John will join us to pull it all together and talk about what does it take to have more sex with your partner.

…and to put you in the mood, here is an old 80s song that we love from Depeche Mode I just Can’t Get Enough

Click Here for the link to the show

OR

Check out Sex Lies and Consciousness’ newest service offer: Dating Again? coaching support for the lucky ones who are dating again in their mid 40s and beyond.

The post I Want More Sex-Part 2 appeared first on Sex Lies and Consciousness.

Is there such a thing as CONSCIOUS PORN?

My eyes, ears, and mind were opened talking to Zach Schlosser and “Rafikki” about porn on this show.  Porn caters more for men while erotica and romance novel, like 50 Shades of Grey, is more for women.  Porn gets more objections and negative press from the public than erotica.

On this show, Rafikki shared with us his knowledge of porn, the vast history, and different genre for different taste.  Zachary on the other hand being a spiritual seeker & mentor, a meditator, and a porn watcher is discovering his way of using porn to raise his consciousness.  This is a hoot.  You really should listen.  Zach is not crazy.  His explanation is very cool, spiritual and transcendental (and I never use that word.  But it came out of me, when I was listening to Zach explained his experiences with porn).

Come on, put your cynicism and doubt aside.  I promise, you have never heard of this perspective before.

No flash? Click on ME

You can find Zach at

Do share please.  What do you think about this idea of conscious porn?

The post Conscious Porn appeared first on Sex Lies and Consciousness.

We spend a lot of time being bliss bunnies and/or being around BBs. You know, “Just meditate and eat clean and you’ll feel great” or “Use the power of positive thinking and it’ll solve your problem”.

Yeah, I know that YOU do this and I know that I do it, too.

We spend time skirting and running from our pain.

STOP IT! STOP RUNNING.

Your pain – whatever it is – has vital learning for you. There is a whole lotta love in the pain. It is your shadow side; it’s part of you. Without it, you wouldn’t be whole.

Embrace all of you and see what amazing and juicy things happen.

Share your shadow explorations? The ugly, bitchy, obnoxious, dour, gloom and doom you. What did you discover in the experience and on the other side?

The post You Can’t Run From Your Shadow appeared first on Sex Lies and Consciousness.

Do you walk around during the days thinking “I want more sex”?

Are you a loving and loyal partner to your wife or girlfriend?

Is your sexual desire and awakening at a high point and you want so much to share it with your partner?

Unfortunately the more you try to communicate this desire, the more you look and sound like a sex fiend, a pushy “all you want is sex” kind of guy, or a dissatisfied husband, or….

This show is for YOU (and for all the women who are on the receiving end of this.) This is such an important conversation for both men and women to hear.

Here are some quotes from the show.

“The gentler I am, the less sex she wanted from me”
“The more you say “I want more sex” with your partner, the worst it gets”
“I need to own my desires, even if she doesn’t like it.”
“Here is how you get good at making us (women) want it….”
“How do you reignite the passion once was?”
“When we (men) try to be the nice guy and coax it out, we make it impossible for her to turn on…”

Listen to the newest episode here:
“I Want More Sex” episode

The post I Want More Sex!!! appeared first on Sex Lies and Consciousness.

Three years ago in February I was waking up to the realization that my relationship with my husband had morphed from hot passion and desire to comfortable roommates. I was scared, felt alone and didn’t know what to do. The only thing I was sure about was that I wanted and needed to feel a deep and intimate connection again. One that jolted my soul with electricity. The kind of connection that made me giddy and giggly just thinking about him. A connection that made my body quiver just by being close, breathing him in and mingling with his energy.

I wanted to feel alive.

Oceans of tears were shed. Yep, that many.

I had so many conversations with myself which almost always included:
“But I can’t have what I want.”

“I love him and don’t want to hurt him.”

I tried to find that magic aliveness feeling in all manners of ways:
Going out to bars / parties and being pursued by men – didn’t matter if they were the type of man I ultimately wanted or not.

Lusting after a guy who was way too young, who had an incredibly messed up life and who was only interested in me for my bank account.

Pushing my body with a lot of physical exercise and little food.

Aaaah, I was a teenager all over again. Reckless behavior, staying out really late and just being completely self indulgent.

Honestly, I was a teetering on being out of control.

And it all shifted when it finally clicked for me – I DESERVED to be happy. I could not and would not continue to put my wants and desires last.

I opened up my mouth and shared with my husband how I felt and what I wanted. And my life changed forever.

How?

Through the process and on the other side, I (re)claimed my sexualness. It was a piece of me that had been MIA for decades. With it, I’m now whole. This is a whole delicious topic for exploration unto itself, so more on that in a later blog post.

I am conscious now. AWAKE and ALIVE. Every day I am aware of the choices I’m making. Even when I dislike things or stay in situations which aren’t really serving me, I’m choosing it consciously.

I know that I can make it on my own if I choose to. Before I didn’t know if I could — No, I didn’t believe I could — and I was scared. Afraid that I wouldn’t be able to financially make it — paying the mortgage, the bills, feeding myself and my animal companions all while maintaining the lifestyle that I’d become accustomed to and enjoy. I don’t have an uber-luxe lifestyle — more Nordstrom than Bergdorfs — and I am not interested in giving up the things which bring me joy and that I love.

I’m taking risks, speaking my heart and in the process learning how to clean up messes. I make A LOT of them so I get to practice clean up frequently. I’ve come to realize that is good stuff even when the mess sucks — before I would keep my mouth shut and not risk saying how I felt. I didn’t want to offend anyone, or look dumb, or unleash the hurt and rage in my heart. This one is still really raw and really hard.

There is SO much more to delve into on this topic — communication, reigniting the relationship, leaving the marriage, divorce, manifesting what you truly want, hot sex, intimacy, personal power, and fear (definitely fear) — so stay tuned and explore these with me on future SLC posts.

Now its your turn. Have you had an experience with a dead relationship, asking for what you want, radically changing you and your life? Share in the comments below.

The post Wake Up Call! When You Realize That You and Your Husband are Just Comfortable Roommates appeared first on Sex Lies and Consciousness.

I felt a bit like the President of United States, recapping his first 100 days in the office, when I did my radio show today on my first 365 days of being the caretaker for Sex Lies and Consciousness Radio in 2012.

I really covered a lot of topics in a year.  In this episode I honored the guests who were on my shows and the awareness that they raised in me while sharing their stories and life journey.  I specifically spoke of 4 episodes that made the most profound impact on me.

Blow Jobs are Like Flowers for Men

Teen Drinking and Sexuality

Circumcised Penis and Its Impact on Sex

Busting the Myths of Female Ejaculation

I hope you will enjoy the recap and share with me your favorite episode.  It would be really fun for me to know.

Looking forward to bringing more meaningful conversations to the world in 2013.

Listen to the  newest episode:

The First 365 Days of Sex Lies and Consciousness Radio

The post The First 365 Days of Sex Lies and Consciousness Radio appeared first on Sex Lies and Consciousness.